One of the most common human characteristics is that of a poor self image. Most of us struggle daily trying to convince ourselves and others we are worthwhile individuals. Many hope that somehow marriage will take care of our self image, only to discover that our spouse cannot meet the need.

One of my favorite activities is what we call our Serendipity Game. We’ve played it with groups of married couples, but it also works with groups of young people. It’s best played when the group members can sit in a circle of chairs so each can see all the other participants.

A few simple guidelines are explained, then everyone gets to participate.

  • We go around the circle, each one telling another person what they like about them.
  • The speaker is encouraged to look the other in the eye as they speak.
  • The speaker is to talk to the person (“I see in you…”, or “What I like about you is…”), not about them (“He or she is…”).
  • After the first time around the circle we point out that no individual is to receive more than three affirmations. This makes it possible for everyone, even the least lovely, to be affirmed.
  • By going around the circle three times, everyone will receive three affirmations.
  • Even newcomers to the group can be affirmed about their smile, their openness, etc.

Experience has taught us that many people are so awed to hear a personal affirmation that they later can’t remember what was said. To deal with this problem, someone is designated to write down the affirmations. Later, the record is typed and distributed to the group.

Affirmation is such a vital need in our lives that we’ve heard that some individuals have kept a copy of their affirmations for many years.

© Beverly Caruso

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